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“The Rules”

Thanks Velominati

Rule 1:  Obey The Rules.

Rule 2:  It is forbidden for someone familiar with The Rules to knowingly assist another person to breach them.

Rule 3:  No matter how good you think your reason is to knowingly breach The Rules, it is never good enough.

Rule 4:  It is, absolutely, without question, unequivocally, about the bike.  Anyone who says otherwise is obviously a twatwaffle.

Rule 5:  Harden The Fuck Up.

Rule 6:  Free your mind and your legs will follow.

Rule 7:   Tan lines should be cultivated and kept razor sharp.  Under no circumstances should one be rolling up their sleeves or shorts in an effort to somehow diminish one’s tan lines.  Sleeveless jerseys are under no circumstances to be employed.

Rule 8:  Saddles, Bars, and Tires:

  • Match the saddle to the bars and the tires to black; or
  • Match the bars to the color of the frame at the top of the head tube and the saddle to the color of the frame at the top of the seat tube and the tires to the color where they come closest to the frame; or
  • Match the saddle and the bars to the frame decals; or
  • Black, black, black

Rule 9:  If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass.  Period.

Rule 10:  It never gets easier, you just go faster. To put it another way, per Greg Henderson: “Training is like fighting with a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired. You stop when the gorilla is tired.”

Read the rest of THE RULES here


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